12 Days of Blogmas: Day 11--the join-a-new-gym edition

OK, will somebody please take me aside and tell me (in a low, concerned voice) that I'm not funny? Or that they've tried, but they can't leave comments at Mamarazzi? Because I post twice a week there, and apparently I'm posting to an echoing vastness of limitless space. And in space, no one can hear you comment.

Seriously, it would really be a kindness to let me know how much I suck before I spend another five years polluting the internet with my so-called "humor."

Right! So, on to the contest! Sharpen your wits--the same ones you'll be using to inform me that a job as a gag writer for Stephen Colbert is not in the offing--and figure out which popular Christmas song is illustrated by the following pictures. First one to figure out the song wins a Mamarazzi t-shirt. You know, that web site I write for that's NOT FUNNY.

Ready?

12 Days of Blogmas: Day 10--the homework edition

OK, after two days of driving, we arrived in Newtopia safe and sound, and even had a pretty good dinner after we arrived, because for once I acted like a mom and got my husband to freeze half of the homemade lasagna he made for Christmas eve.

(Even though we go on these long drives ALL THE TIME, our safe arrival is always marred by the realization that ZOMG!!11!!! We need to buy milk!!!)

(This is actually OK, because it proves that I'm not my [hyper-organized, thrifty, practical] mother. No matter what my enemies say.)

But this time the lasagna AND THE MILK were in the freezer. Yay!

Caution: when you freeze milk, don't freeze an unopened bottle. Word to the wise.

OK, here's the third-runner-up to the last day of Christmas, so get ready to play! Figure out the name of the popular Christmas song illustrated with album covers grabbed from Amazon.com. The first person to figure out the name of the song wins a Mamarazzi t-shirt. Ready?


And if you find this at all challenging, just imagine the joys of helping my son do the extremely lengthy homework packets he brought home from school on December 18th and just cracked open yesterday.

12 Days of Blogmas: Day Nine

12 Days of Blogmas: Day Eight

Happy New Year!

At the moment, many bloggers are getting all reminiscent, reminding you of where they've been in 2009.

I could do that too, but I'm more interested in where I am now.

Which is in a (dis)Comfort Inn in Eerie, Pennsylvania, having finally talked my daughter to sleep in her bed, instead of on the floor.

You see, the chef in the Japanese cook-the-steak-at-the-table joint spent waaay too much time telling us about the time he stayed at a cheap hotel and didn't like the look of the sheets, so he slept on the floor. This convinced my daughter that she should sleep on the floor tonight. And this, of course, necessitated a conversation in which I finally succeeded in making the point that our hostelry, though modest, is at least adequately clean. And that people walk on that floor! And you don't know where it's been!

Good to know that after five years of blogging, I've developed enough rhetorical flourishes to be more convincing than a randomly-encountered loserish white guy who makes a living throwing pepper grinders around in a Japanese steak house in Eerie, Pennsylvania.

And now, for today's contest! Guess which popular Christmas song is illustrated by the following album covers and win a free Mamarazzi t-shirt!*









*(Second prize wins a quart of teriyaki sauce! Third prize can choose either a AAA Guide to Western Pennsylvania, or a brand-new Roach Motel.)

12 Days of Blogmas: Day Seven (the 2010 edition)

Whoa!

It's snowy/slushy/slippery as a bastid out there.

A few hours ago, I went out to buy champagne and pick up some movies at the library. It seems that everyone else in town had the same brilliant idea; stay home and celebrate with good food and your favorite people in the whole world. The library DVD shelves were picked clean, and so was the champagne display at the local liquor store. But I perservered.

Tonight, the Buxoms will be eating spaghetti carbonara and watching movies. Various Buster Keaton shorts; Help; Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, and The Breakfast Club.

At some point the young people with active metabolic rates will break out the ice cream cake with sundae toppings. The older, more sluggish members of the family will start drinking champagne.

Happy New Years to you and yours, and if you do go out, drive carefully. Seriously. My nephew got a concussion in a car accident on Christmas night.

Now, ready to win a Mamarazzi t-shirt? Figure out what popular Christmas song is depicted in the following pictures (all CDs or MP3s available from Amazon.)

The 12 Days of Blogmas: Day six

My daughter is very busy. She's up in her room, spending the $100 in iTunes gift cards she received for Christmas.

To make this possible, I've been busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. Seriously, getting my new MacBook Pro (smooch!) up to speed was a piece of cake compared to

1. backing up my daughter's old laptop to a zip drive
2. purging stuff on my old laptop to free up disk space
3. adding my daughter as a user on my old laptop
3. de-authorizing my iTunes account on my old laptop
3. authorizing her iTunes account on it
4. copying her iTunes files over
5. restoring her iPod to factory settings
6. synching it to her new computer

At which point--after about four hours of work--I handed the laptop and iPod over to her and told her to have fun.

So now my dining room looks like the terminal room in the Computing Group at The Whitehead Institute for Biomedical Research (which is where I met Mr. Buxom lo, these many years ago.) It's also very reminiscent of the scenes in Buffy the Vampire Slayer where the three nerds are trying to be super-villains.

Except they weren't becoming super-villains in the middle of a blizzard while wild turkeys patrol their yard.

Also, I'm still in my pajamas. Pink microfiber with little hearts all over them.

OK, now that I've seared that image into your mind and provided way more local color than you'd like, here's another entry--figure out what song I'm referring to (pictures are all from Amazon except for fourth one--that one wouldn't work, so I switched to Google Images) and win a free Mamarazzi t-shirt!

12 Days of Blogmas: Day Five

I'm late to post this, and I'm typing it on my brand-spanking new MacBook Pro, which has finally finished transferring the new files.

So, if you're new or just started paying attention, here's the deal. The following pictures represent the title/first line of a popular Christmas song. The images are from Amazon.com.

Be the first to figure out which Christmas song and win a free Mamarazzi t-shirt!

Ready?